If You Don’t Heal What Hurt You, You Can’t Be Free.
If you don’t heal what hurt you, your trauma will be your sad little shadow until you become brave enough to face it.
Those hurts and traumas will linger no matter how hard you try to move on.
So, can I ask you, do you feel like you just can’t seem to shake off the past?
Did something horrible happen and you can’t figure out how to let it go?
If it has, I’m so sorry. I’ve been there too and understand how hard it can be.
After many years of carrying around my own baggage, I’ve learned if you don’t deal with what’s hurting you, you’ll never truly be free.
But don’t worry, it’s not as scary as it sounds.
Healing takes time and effort, but trust me, it’s so worth it. By facing our past head-on and dealing with it, we can finally let go of the hurt and start living our lives to the fullest.
In this post, I want to have a chat with you about the importance of healing and give you some practical steps you can take to heal what hurts you.
Are you ready?
Let’s dive in!
Understanding past hurts
Have you ever had a bad experience in a relationship that just left you feeling hurt and scarred?
I know I have.
After going through some tough times in my past relationships, it can be tough to open up and trust again.
I used to see narcissists around every corner and the thought of going through that again just made me want to stay single forever.
But here’s the thing, holding onto that hurt and not allowing ourselves to heal, can actually end up holding us back from finding healthy, fulfilling relationships.
I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s important to take the time to heal and not let our past define our future.
What are past hurts?
But what exactly are past hurts? Past hurts are any pain or trauma we’ve experienced.
They can be emotional, physical, or mental, big or small, but they all have one thing in common: they’ve left a lasting impact on us.
Some examples of emotional hurts are a broken heart, feeling betrayed by someone you love, or feeling rejected, things many of us niceaholics have experienced.
These emotional hurts can leave us feeling sad, angry, and completely hopeless.
Physical hurts can be from an accident, injury, or illness. They can cause chronic pain, physical limitations, and even PTSD.
Mental hurts can come from a traumatic event or even from a long-term stressful situation (like being in a toxic relationship). They can lead to anxiety and depression and impact our ability to think and reason clearly.
If you don’t heal what hurt you, it will continue to torture your thoughts and rob you from the enjoyment of the life you have ahead of you.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience of past hurts is different, and what may be a small hurt for one person could be a big hurt for another.
And that’s okay.
The important thing is that we take the time to heal and care for ourselves.
How past hurts can damage both your present and future.
When we don’t take the time to heal from our past hurts, it can have a lasting impact on us.
For example, if you have been hurt in a past relationship, you may find it difficult to trust people and form healthy relationships in the future.
Or if you experienced a traumatic event, you may struggle with anxiety and depression, which can affect your ability to function and enjoy life.
Our past hurts consume our thoughts and make it difficult to be present in the here and now. So, we miss out on the joy of the present day because our mind is elsewhere.
We are also less inclined to take risks and get out into the world to meet new people and this affects our future relationships and limits our opportunities in life.
Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
If you don’t heal what hurt you, it can also affect your self-esteem and self-worth.
When we hold on to hurt, we may believe we are not worthy of love, happiness, and success.
This belief can hold us back from reaching our full potential and achieving our goals, and once this belief becomes part of our identity, it gets challenging to change.
We lose interest in things that bring us joy and can isolate as we start no longer caring about trying anymore.
It is so incredibly sad that a beautiful, kind person like you ends up feeling this way.
Addressing your hurt and moving past it, is possible. You just need to take it slowly and work on it consistantly.
Your self-esteem and self-worth will improve once you make the necessary changes and leave what hurt you, behind.
Physical Health
Additionally, past hurts can also affect our physical health.
For example, if you have experienced a traumatic event that may lead to developing physical symptoms such as chronic pain, headaches, and sleep disorders.
It makes sense. Being such deep feelers like us, our worrying can cause us physical pain.
When we stop looking after ourselves properly and worrying about the past takes over, sleeping becomes difficult. As a result, coping with daily life can get overwhelming, and our poor bodies fall apart from lack of care.
That’s why it’s so important to take the time to heal from our past trauma because if you don’t heal what hurt you, it can make you physically sick.
What can happen if you don’t address your past hurts
I know how hard it can be to confront your past, and it can be tempting to push it aside and move on with your busy life.
But ignoring our past hurts can have some serious negative consequences.
For example, if we don’t address our past hurt, they can affect us emotionally. We may feel sad, angry, or hopeless for no apparent reason.
We may also struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame, and these feelings can be so overwhelming that it is difficult to enjoy life.
Ignoring our past hurts can also impact our relationships.
If you don’t heal what hurt you, you may find it difficult to trust people, form healthy relationships, and even communicate with others.
This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
As I said previously, past hurts can also affect our physical health.
We may find ourselves stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs, which can hold us back from living the life we truly want.
In the long term, not addressing our past hurts limits our ability to achieve our goals, live an intentional and authentic life and reach our full potential.
That’s why it’s so important to take the time to heal from our past and regain control of our happiness.
The benefits of putting in the work and healing your past hurts.
While actually facing and healing our past hurts can be difficult, I want to remind you of the many benefits healing and overcoming them can have in your life.
Healing from our past hurt can bring a sense of peace and closure.
When we take the time to process our hurt and let go of it, we can finally move on from the past and start living in the present. It’s very freeing to be released from the ongoing worry about it.
Improve relationships
Healing our past hurts can also improve our relationships.
We can build new friendships free from the heaviness of the past. We can choose healthy people who don’t repeat the same toxic patterns we used to accept and treat us with kindness and respect.
Learning to trust people again, be open and vulnerable and build authentic friendships based on our true selves is possible, but in order to do so, we need to put the past behind us.
Improve self-esteem & self-worth
Additionally, we can improve our self-esteem and self-worth when we heal from our past hurts. By facing our past and dealing with it, we can learn to love ourselves and let go of negative beliefs about ourselves.
This can lead to a more positive outlook on life and help us achieve our goals and impact this world instead of merely surviving it.
Improve Physical Health
Furthermore, healing from past hurts can improve our physical health. When we deal with our past, we can learn to care for ourselves better, enjoy more restful sleep and improve our overall well-being.
Gives you Freedom
Yes, you will never forget what happened to you.
However, it will stop having the power over your life that it does now running your life and torturing your dreams every night.
By taking small steps towards healing and making it a priority, you’ll feel a sense of relief and a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. You start to enjoy freedom from the worry of it all.
It’s time to let it go and move on.
Practical and actionable steps for overcoming your past hurts.
Let’s chat about some practical and actionable steps you can take to start healing what hurt you:
Reflect and identify.
Take some time to reflect on past events that have caused hurt in your life.
Write down the specific situations or events that come to mind. Look at the situation from all angles and identify things you would do differently if you had your time over again.
Reflect on the people around you and their responses to what happened. Were they supportive? Were they adequately resourced to help?
Think about your response. Would you respond the same way, knowing what you do now?
Are you too hard on yourself, given how stressful it was at the time? Do you continue to shame yourself about it to this day?
Reflecting on what hurt you will help to identify the specific areas that need to be worked on and help you to move forward again.
Seek professional help.
Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can help you process your trauma and provide the tools and support you need to heal.
While therapy can be expensive, it also costs your enjoyment of life, rewarding relationships, and achieving your goals and dreams to keep living this way.
Even if it doesn’t feel “that bad” anymore, therapy can still help enormously.
You still pay for continued emotional trauma instead of money, so getting professional help can be cheaper in the long run. 😊
Practice self-care
Make sure to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and doing things that make you feel good.
You are more than your trauma; practicing self-care nurtures your soul and reminds you; you are important and worthy of looking after.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness practices such as meditation and journaling can help you be present at the moment and let go of negative thoughts and feelings.
I love the Balance app for this and use it every day. It helps with your sleep and stress, and it’s amazing.
Talk about it.
Talking about your past hurt can help you to process them and gain a new perspective. So, share your feelings and experiences with a trusted friend, family member, or support group.
It’s important for your healing to be believed and heard, so practice talking about it with safe people, even if it’s hard.
Learn from the past and let go.
Use the lessons learned from your past hurts to move forward. Remember to forgive yourself and others who may have hurt you and let go of the past.
Just so you know, forgiving those that hurt you is purely for you, not for them.
While you will never forget what they did to you, forgiving them releases you from their power. It gives you freedom again.
Take back the peace of mind you deserve by making them insignificant, putting them in the review mirror, and moving on with your new happier life.
Give yourself time.
Remember that healing takes time and being kind and compassionate with yourself throughout the process is important.
Be patient with yourself and know that progress takes lots of time and self-compassion.
Why Self-Care Is Critical For Healing Past Hurts
Self-care is more than buying yourself something nice. It involves taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
It’s like being your own nurturing parent and treating yourself like the special little person you are 😊
By taking care of yourself, you can improve your overall well-being, which can help you to cope better with past hurts and move forward in life.
Here are a few examples of self-care activities that can help you heal from your past hurt:
Exercise
Regular exercise can help to release endorphins, which are natural chemicals in the brain that can help to improve mood and reduce stress. Exercise can also help to improve sleep and overall physical health.
It doesn’t have to be intense to help. Even a gentle walk can give you the same effect.
Healthy eating
Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can help improve energy levels and boost mood and overall health. When you eat well, your body can process toxins and help cleanse your system, giving you the energy you need to work on your healing.
Sleep
I don’t know about you, but if I haven’t had a good night’s sleep, you’d better stand back!
Getting enough sleep is so important for overall well-being. Sleep helps to repair and restore the body and also helps to improve mood and reduce stress. If you haven’t slept well, you forget things and make silly decisions, which only worsens the situation.
Relaxation
Engaging in activities that promote relaxation, such as yoga, meditation, or music, can help reduce stress and anxiety and improve overall well-being.
I highly recommend the app Balance for learning meditation and calming your freaked-out mind.
Personal time
As niceaholics, we usually overlook this aspect of self-care as we always give our time to others. But it’s important to take time to do things you enjoy, whether reading a book, taking a bath, or going for a walk.
Personal time can help to reconnect, recharge and re-center yourself.
Social support
Surrounding yourself with supportive people, whether friends, family, or a support group, can provide comfort and security, which can be important for healing from past hurts.
So, as you can see, self-care is very important for healing from past hurts.
It can provide a sense of stability and control in a time of uncertainty and can help to improve overall well-being.
Taking proper care of yourself builds your resilience and ensures you are adequately equipped when you embark on your healing journey.
I encourage you to make self-care a priority and, once again, to be patient with yourself while you go through the healing process.
Resources for Healing What Hurts You
Here are three resources that you can use to help heal from past hurts:
- The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk,
- Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A Levine with Ann Frederick
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
**These aren’t affiliate links; I just like them, and I know you will too!
Conclusion – If you don’t heal what hurt you.
Before I go, I just want to say; I’m so sorry that someone has hurt you and it has continued to follow you around and make your life difficult.
My heart breaks for you 🙁
I know you didn’t deserve what happened to you.
I hope you have decided to heal what hurt you now and see why it is so important for your well-being to address it.
Self-care is fabulous for helping you to heal yourself. So remember to take care of yourself properly and show yourself that you are worthy of love, care, and kindness.
By healing what hurt you, you open yourself up to a new way of living, enjoying exciting relationships, achieving your goals and dreams, and living an inspired life.
Which is what you totally deserve!
Remember, you are strong and very capable of healing. I believe in you, and I’m here to support you.
Let’s take care of ourselves and heal together.
What hurts are following you around? How are you healing them? Let me know in the comments below.
Remember, my dear niceaholic, always be kind to yourself too.
Love
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